the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
