she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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