OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
