she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
