Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
