would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
