You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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