i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
how does that bad decision feel?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
