Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
