I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
