Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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