I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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