i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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