Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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