I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize