Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
