Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just want nice things and good sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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