Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
