he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
