Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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