Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
