My first STD was from a foam party
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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