hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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