Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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