The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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