i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
