That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
