is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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