You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
