There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
