Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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