hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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