so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
