Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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