I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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