he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
