whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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