i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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