the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
