yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
