I hate your face
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
