Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Congratulations! We have a period
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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