So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
