i already hear my dad disowning me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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