coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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