Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
