i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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