Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
