Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
this is an emotional support booty call
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
