he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
