Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
