Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
