The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize